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 Valentine's day is on 14th February every year.

Here is a list of some funny valentine's day jokes.

Enjoy and spread these funny jokes about valentine.

 

To my one and only love

Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very smart jeweller's shop in Hatton Garden, London.

The jeweller inquired, 'Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?'

Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, 'No, instead engrave "To my one and only love".'

The jeweller smiled and said, 'Yes, sir; how very romantic of you.'

Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, 'Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.'

 

Meaning of Dreams

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day.

What do you think it means?"

"You shall know tonight", he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it. She found a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams".

 

Guess Who?

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter systematically pasting "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. The guy's curiosity gets the better of him and he walks up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing.

The man says, "I'm sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

"But why?" asks the guy.

The man replies, "I'm a divorce lawyer."

 

Silence in the cinema

It was Valentine's day and John and Danielle's first date. They sat in the darkened cinema waiting for the film to start. The screen finally lit up with a flashy advertisement for the cinema's concession stand. John and Danielle realised that there was no sound. The film began but the silence continued.

Suddenly, out of the darkness, an irritated voice in the crowd loudly shouted', Okay, who's got the remote control?'

 

Valentine's Day Gift

Jonny asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day.

'Yes,' came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, 'I've bought her a belt and a bag.'

'That was very kind of you,' Jonny added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought.'

Tony smiled as he replied, 'So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now.'


This is a list of vocabulary items related to Saint Valentine's Day to understand jokes better

Valentine's Day

 Сelebrated on 14 February. It is a day when you give a valentine card to someone you have a romantic relationship with or would like a romantic relationship with
 A valentine A decorative card which you send, usually without your name on it, on 14 February (Valentine's Day) to someone you love. When you are popular you get a lo of valentines  

Did you get any valentines?

Yes, I also sent you one!

Look Leila is writing a valentine

 A valentine (person) Someone you love or would like to have a romantic relationship with, to whom you send a valentine card: The message on the card said 'Be my Valentine'. 
 Cupid The ancient Roman god of love, represented by a naked baby boy who has wings and shoots arrows at people to make them start to love each other
 An arrow Cupid shoots arrows at people to make them love each other.




 Date

  (Noun) An appointment for a particular time, esp with a person to whom one is sexually or romantically attached.

She has a dinner date

 (Noun) The person with whom the appointment is made

Who's your date for the prom (party)?

   (Verb) To regularly spend time with someone you have a romantic relationship with.

They were dating for five years before they got married.

How long have you been dating Nicky?

Exchanging gifts

On Valentine's Day lovers express their feeling for each other, often by exchanging gifts. These gifts include:

A bouquet of flowers usually roses or carnations

A box of chocolate

Candy hearts

Bouquet


A group of flowers that have been fastened together and attractively arranged so that they can be given as a present or carried on formal occasion such as Valientine's Day.

Chris sent me a lovely bouquet on Valientine's Day.

Fill in the gaps.

1.      Valentine's Day is  ... on February 14th.

2.      This is a popular  ...  for people to get engaged.

3.      Flowers and  ... are popular presents to give.

4.      It is also a custom to send greeting cards called  ... .

5.      Many cards are  ... . This means you don't know who they are from.

6.      A popular symbol is a Cupid carrying a bow and an  ... .

7.      A  ... is a slightly outdated term meaning "the one I love".

8.      Wow! What a beautiful  ... !

9.      Many couples go out on romantic valentines ... on Valentine's Day. 

10.    When couples meet they usually have a valentines ... dinner in a romantic restaurant.



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